omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
