would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
