Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
