I want to walk on stilts...naked
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
