I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
