she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
