His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
