so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
