Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
