I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
