just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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