Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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