Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
