you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
