He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The air taste purple.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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