using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
