She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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