I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
