it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
