I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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