You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
