I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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