I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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