I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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