Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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