All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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