Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
