i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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