6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
