dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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