I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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