I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize