Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
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I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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