You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
