dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
