he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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