Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
