im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
