Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
