are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
