She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
