Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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