hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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