I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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