wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
