I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
