Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
