@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm sobbing to NWA
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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