the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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