omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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