me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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