please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
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My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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