i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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