he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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