I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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