i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
