if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
