My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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