The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
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Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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