Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
