Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
