dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
