I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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